Pangolin Sandwich

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Please, do not eat pangolins.

Some choose to dine in a life of fine living and exotic meat –
Is the life of Pangolins worth only a tasty treat?
Let us document with vigor, in rigorous alliance
To determine the flavor of one through double-blinded science!

Our goal is narrow, simple, clear – are pangolins delicious?
Accompanied with wine or beer? Are they found nutritious?
Appropriate in stir fry, or perhaps a stew with roots?
Nestled in a marble rye? Diced small with citrus fruits?

Yes, these answers we set to obtain at a dinner party tonight.
Served whole from tail to brain – the first course is a fright.
Regard the animal’s thick scales. I suspect one should remove them first.
Worse than chewing fingernails – this first course is the worst.

Guests next sample soup, then cheese made from the mammalian ducts
(A delicate culinary coup – we really are in luck!)
A braise, a boil, a fricassee, followed by carpaccio
As we all do wish to see if raw has more flavor to show.

Nine pangolins, then ten, and twenty, eaten from the wild.
Knowledge provided so we many can stop a population defiled.
After Pangolin pudding eaten cold, we compared our notes in anguish
Discovering it best between two rolls in a dense Pangolin Sandwich.

PANGOLIN SANDWICH
First you take a pangolin and trim it free of scales,
Then stand over the kitchen sink to eject a mournful wail.
This helps assuage the guilt before your morbid feast.
Take a whole wheat roll and split it on opposite sides of the beast.

Pangolin, it benefits from addition of a spicy aioli
As well as thin layers of cheese, taking care to slice it slowly.
When is best to devour this rich and ripe repast?
You’ll have to hunt it quickly, because it’s going fast.

At the risk of good taste, hopefully some levity in the proceedings. Pangolins suffer from a reputation as an exotic and tasty meat desired by the wealthy. An unbelievable number are taken from the wild each year to be consumed. Their scales are used as medicine. As with the Rhino – they are keratin rich. Perhaps the ill rich could eat their own toenails?

A pangolin eats ants and is really an interesting creature to see. They are largely nocturnal, able to swim, and deeply endangered. There are eight species of them. They also have stink glands for defense and marking. 

I wish to make it clear I do not advocate the eating of pangolins.

Author: Matthew

A father, son, husband, and fairly rad dude.

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