Yeah, there’s a lot going on in my head these days – I don’t know how anyone ever manages to express themselves as a confident adult in this country. The level of whining I feel I do on a daily basis is killing me, but so is stoicism. There’s weights on my back, but they are meaningless compared to several people I know.
I am either the most confident or the least. It’s very confusing.
Writing happened for a while, and then it didn’t, and I’m not very interested in being the writer who says “oh, wow, I wrote for such and such a time, give me cookies” because that’s not being a writer at all, it’s being a brown noser.
I’ve been so busy with work, though, which is what I’m really upset about. There is no lie to the fact I really enjoy working with children and teaching them, but, as many have eloquently put, there’s too much other crap to deal with. I have an observation Friday which has too much emphasis placed upon it, and I honestly can’t handle the anxiety. There’s grades to place, scopes to sequence – I’m confused half the time. This year was supposed to be easier than last year, and it is not. A big part of that is due to lack of resources, lack of support, lack of knowledge about Dr. Montessori – but much of it is due to indifference on my part.
The standards are killing me – not CCSS, those are easy to reconcile because they fit anything, but the science and social studies standards are hard to use these days. Gone are the science standards that allowed a teacher to teach children about the wonders of the world. They have an insular focus on scientific methods and principles, which is fine, but the content is gone. This makes it very hard to incorporate “legally” all the really cool stuff kids love.
These new science standards are limiting, which is not the lesson science needs to teach to elementary school students, not really. Why are we obsessed with making kids’ lives as miserable as adult lives? Childhood is a gift, it’s a recent development that I see being casually eroded all over the country – and it’s a big problem. Kids want to learn and explore, but they aren’t allowed to do it.
It’s really depressing.