Here is a list that I wrote.

THINGS I HATE TO READ IN BLOGS.

1)  “Hello.  I have been missing and have not updated in a while.”

This is obnoxious and self-pitying.  No one cares.  I don’t even care when I do this – I space out and all of sudden the blog is updated and I’m all “how did that happen?”

2)  My Name.  How did they find that?  Usually it’s one of the other “Matthew Abels” out there and while many of them are pretty cool, a lot of them are terrible.  You have to really filter out the good from the bad.

3)  Lists.

What an outmoded and trite form of communication.  Can we move beyond the lists, please?  I understand as humanity we want to categorize and tabulate but its very frustrating.  Lists are the reason we had the lame Pluto controversy and I’ve had it with them completely.

4)  Self-Referential Humor

We get it.  You’re aware you’re being hypocritical or meta or whatever.  Dude.

5)  Complaints about trash disposals.

Just take the bull by the balls and clean it out yourself.  You don’t need a plumber for it.