This is the Intro for “The Camp.” It’s a parody of “The Office” based upon many of my friends’ and my experience at camp. I am hoping to finish it up someday – don’t know if it’ll ever be taped. But it’s fun to write. This is pasted from Final Draft, so suffer the formatting.
The Camp
EXT. THE DECK
(ZACHARY)
VARIOUS PEOPLE WALK ONTO THE DECK AND SHAKE HANDS WITH
ZACHARY. HE HANDS THEM MANUALS AND BAGS.
ZACHARY
(v.o.)
Yeah, it’s day one of Orientation here
at Camp Gunther. Everyone’s really
excited.
(People are hugging)
It’s a family atmosphere.
INT. TALKING HEAD
(ZACHARY)
ZACHARY
I am the Program Director here at Camp
Gunther. Always excited for summer to
start. I spent the last year working
at Wal-Mart. So. It’s a bit of a
step up in the fun department. We’ve
got a lot of great staff this year.
CUT TO:
INT. TALKING HEAD
(SUSAN)
SUSAN
This will be my fourth summer on
staff. I am very excited. Zachary
never seems to notice me, but I have a
plan to get on the top of his list
this year.
Two words: Name Repetition and Song
Styling. So, people will feel
(moves arm in as if hugging)
Welcome.
EXT. THE DECK
(SUSAN, LISA)
SUSAN SHAKES HANDS WITH LISA.
SUSAN
Welcome to Camp Gunther, I’m Susan.
LISA
Nice to meet you. I’m Lisa.
SUSAN
Well, Lisa –
(sings)
You seem like a piece of;
terrificness. Lisa’s a caberet old
chum! Come to Lisa!
LISA IS HORRIFIED.
EXT. THE DECK
(BILL, ZACHARY)
BILL
I just think she’s freaking people
out. It’s day one. She can’t start
that next week?
ZACHARY
I will talk to her, Bill.
BILL
She’s crazy.
ZACHARY
She just cares too much, I think.
BILL
About make-up. And boys. And
impressing people.
ZACHARY
Well, you’re impressive. Tattle-tale.
BILL
What?
ZACHARY
You’re a tattle-tale. You like that?
INT. TALKING HEAD
(BILL)
BILL
Zachary’s under stress. I give him
some slack. That and he could fire me
any second.
EXT. THE DECK
(SUSAN, ZACHARY)
SUSAN
Zachary!
(singing)
He doesn’t climb trees! He’s scared
of height. Ooooh, up high you won’t
find him, cause he’s just too dim – up
high!
ZACHARY
Yeah. About that.
(takes her arm and whispers)
A few of the other counselors think
the singing is a little over the top.
SUSAN
What?
ZACHARY
Yeah. It’s scaring some of the new
counselors.
SUSAN
It is?
ZACHARY
I mean, I think its funny, but the new
counselors just got here and they’re
nervous
(Susan sniffs)
Susan?
SUSAN
(tears)
I just wanted them to feel welcome.
ZACHARY
Well I think they do.
SUSAN
No, You think that! I try so hard and
no one cares.
(sobbing)
I just want you to like me. I’m
sorry. I’m sorry.
STORMS OFF, ZACHARY LOOKS AT CAMERA.
INT. TALKING HEAD
(ZACHARY)
ZACHARY
And that’s just one thing I deal with.
FADE TO BLACK.
The Camp (Camptastic)
AHHH
Soo good. A little Andy reference to the way he wanted to take over the Office his first day.
I am laughing out loud!