The World of Babies

My friends, Paul and Kara, just birthed a second son the other day. This joyful occasion was lost on me since Paul named his boy Lando. I didn’t get to name my son Lando! What the crap is that? Zachary is a pretty sweet name, but with the amount of teasing Abel gets you on the schoolyard, you need to protect your boy with a sweet first name. (Okay, the name was actually “Landon, but still…)

Sam and I are learning swiftly all about parenting. The lack of sleep is okay since I haven’t had a normal sleep schedule since starting at WM. That could change as I move into a slightly shorter schedule which may allow more time for personal business.

No one tells you everything you can know about babies. People warn you about the work it will be (which isn’t as bad as they say) and the late nights (which are worse), but there are a few things I wish someone had warned me about because they came abruptly.

Fact One: Diapers are oftentimes worthless. I have just blown completely away the argument for disposable diapers. Yeah, I would have to clean the cloth diapers but considering the bath we gave the boy last night when his disposable failed, I don’t think it would be that big a deal. Pee still leaks through the disposable at an alarming trend. In the past hour I have changed his clothes twice.

Fact Two: The farts. No one ever sat down with me and said “Matthew, there are times your baby will smell like a chemical weapons plant. That’s just how they do it.” The dog has whined upon catching a whiff of Zach-Gas, that is how horrid the stench is.

Fact Three: This kind of was a pleasant surprise. Babies are far less fragile then people make you think. Yes, his neck needs support, but just a common sense amount, not a precious china amount. Being slow with the baby seems to be just as effective as anything else. Zach has a pretty strong neck already and can lift his head for half a second. It’s not as though we run around playing catch with him. He’s sturdy.

All together, he’s a pretty good baby. He’s having trouble pooping lately which means his mom gives him medicine every few days which releases all the poop at one time resulting in diaper failure. Of course, sometimes the diaper just fails for no reason we can realize.

And that’s the truth.

Author: Matthew

A father, son, husband, and fairly rad dude.

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