A Science Lesson

We bought the paper today.  I try to get it whenever I can so I can keep abreast of the local happenings and whatnot.  We do get it every Sunday, since there are coupons we can clip.  Hopefully, after the new year we will have the capital to invest in a subscription.  Then, we can read all sorts of crazy things.  Like the editorials by Stillwater local, Samuel Kraemer.  There’s not a link up for the editorial today, yet.  I’ll post the link when it’s on the Newspress homepage.  You can read his thoughts on ANWR meanwhile.

The editorial today has all the information one can glean from a Wikipedia article.  The reader is informed about the elliptical path of the earth and it’s tilt from the sun.  All of this information is going to help him prove that global warming is a hoax.  This is so upsetting I can’t even use sarcasm to deal with it.

I get very frustrated by people claiming global warming to be a hoax.  Generally, in the event of a hoax, there is something to be gained by the hoaxer.  In this case, the hoaxers are the majority of the scientific community and most of the USA.

Gosh.  He’s gone and called us out.  Think of all we could have gained if only everyone believed in Global Warming here in the USA.  If only our agenda could have been pushed forward earlier and we could have fooled everyone.  Think of all of the evil plans we could have enacted.  Evil stuff.

1)  Energy Independence.  Why, with everyone convinced burning oil was a bad thing back when GW first came up, we might have made the foolish mistake of heavily investing in alternative technology for our energy needs like solar, wind, and nuclear.  We might even have people manufacturing electric cars!

2)  A Better Transportation Infrastructure.  Once people realize it’s not environmentally friendly to drive across the country, they might have demanded a better public transportation system developing first in their cities and then expanding into some sort of low-energy mag-lev rail system that criscrossed the country!  In a really evil move, we might have found a way to easily load our electric cars onto the rail system and drive them off the track at our destination.

3)  Less Money to Roads, more to other things.  With less cars on the road and more all-terrain bicycles, we might have taken money away from road maintenance.  Man, this is the evil plan I’m most ashamed of.  That money would have gone to help fund other things.  Probably other silly things like education and public transit.

4)  Cleaner Air.  This is the most apparent.  Obviously, those of us behind this bold hoax to promote public transportation and walking had this idea at the forefront.  Without all those messy coal and oil plants and with less gasoline cars on the roads, places like LA would have less smog.  The thing that really makes them epic in the minds of Americans everywhere.  If only there were some other memorable feature of big cities, this one might have worked.  But if you take the smog away from cities, what do you get?

I could go on, but I think I’ve hit the major four.  Anything else would be a stretch.  Like how carpooling could promote a stronger work community and therefore increase productivity.  How people could save on their electricity bill because they demand products that use less energy.

Sorry everyone.  The hoax has been discovered.  I guess our evil plans will have to wait.

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Published by Matthew

A father, son, husband, and fairly rad dude.

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