Autumn. A beautiful time of year. When you go pick apples at the orchard and take long walks in the crisp air as the leaves explode in color around you. Except in Oklahoma, where it was eighty degrees yesterday. They don’t even have haunted houses here.
Sam and I tried to go out to eat last night. We were successful. Finally. We really wanted to go someplace that was fancy. We ended up at Red Lobster, which is apparently the height of fancy in Stillwater. There is one restaurant that almost fits the bill, but their main focus is steaks. I enjoy steak, but paying over twenty dollars for something I know I can cook at home is not my cup of tea.
When I go someplace “Fancy,” I except I’ll have to wear long pants and that there will be the following items available on the menu: lamb, duck, asparagus, and some sort of homemade ice cream. Especially the lamb. Lamb is practically a non-entity here in Stillwater.
Then it was off to the movies. Where, despite having six screens open in a ten screen theatre, we had a small selection of terrible movies. The Stillwater theatres policy seems to be one of “If there are three movies, let’s get the worst one.” The tickets are only six bucks, which is okay. But they didn’t even get the movie “College.” It’s a college town. This is my imagined plan.
“Hello, my name is Matthew Abel. I’d like to apply for the Manager position.”
“We don’t need to hire a Manager right now.”
“Yes. Yes you do.”
CRIMES OF THE CARMIKE 10 IN STILLWATER:
1) Whereupon a Friday or Saturday evening with a line extending ten feet from the sidewalk, there is only one ticket register open.
2) Whereupon when buying food, they wait until you are juggling your popcorn and drink to take your money/card so you must wait longer.
3) Whereupon there are human feces adhered to the toilet seat in the men’s room.
4) Whereupon the lobby temperature is a sweltering 90 degrees and the theaters are a frigid 17.
The only good thing about this theatre is the amount of previews prior to the main attraction. And that’s not something many people like. The Stillwater movie experience is pretty terrible. If I were going to be staying here for any length of time, I would be working hard at opening my own. I could have two screens, but if I showed first run I would shut the Carmike down in six months.