The Villainny of Hugs

I find the state of embracing a disappointing point of living in America.  In my time as a kid-enabler, I have learned so many things about not touching.  It is, naturally, to protect myself.  At camp, side hugs are the norm.  We aren’t to initiate as that could lead to trouble.  For if a child were to say anything, we are guilty until proven innocent.  The job is gone, we are gone.

Which is sad.  Because kids need hugs.

My main thought today is the taboo involved with men hugging men.  Why is this still a problem?   Personally, I think the reason young boys are so physical with each other is because it is not considered healthy for them to hug.  At what age does this happen?

When working with pre-K, those kids are ready for an embrace.  It helps calm them down and makes them feel valued.  Here in Oklahoma, thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be a problem.  Back home with school groups it seemed a bit more pronounced.  Adults who work with kids are scared to touch their students.  I suppose some think this is a step forward, but I think it’s terrible.

There’s nothing wrong with affection.  Kids need to learn that it’s okay to show platonic affection.  I feel its partly to blame for some of the things they do behind closed doors, but right now my brain isn’t finding a good way to express that thought.

Boys especially need to learn that it is okay.  As I grew up it became okay as we got older but there was quite a long period in grade school where accidentally brushing hands with each other was homophobic.  This is not good.  It makes it very hard for the kids who know they are gay to let it out.

Sometimes, people make me sick.

1 thought on “The Villainny of Hugs

  1. krista.

    I’m so glad someone else worries about this. Since I was babysitting kids as a teenager, I’ve been terrified of touching them for it being construed as inappropriate. When I taught kids at a community center, I was very self-conscious because not only am I an adult, but I’m part of the gay agenda. That was never a part of my identity there, but I knew it would become an issue if there was a touching issue. I’m an incredibly affectionate person in general, and you know kids need positive reinforcement and affection from the people they respect, so it was really hard. An occasional pat on the shoulder or the top of the head was pretty much it. Poor kids.


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